Run Fat Boy Run - The Movie.....Not Me

I finally had the opportunity to watch Run Fat Boy Run last night.......let me just say that it is hilarious movie, albeit somewhat unrealistic. First off, going from couch potato smoker chunky man to elite Marathon runner in 3 weeks? If you'll buy that, I've for some ocean front property in Arizona to sell you. Secondly, have you ever seen elite runners run so slow that chunky butts can catch up and pass them in the first mile or two? Maybe if you are Rosie Ruiz (who oh so infamously cheated by taking busses and trains to thw finish to win the Boston Marathon) or riding a cab alongside them. Finally, who puts a staircase for runners to climb within the last .2 miles? No, that's not a liability or anything.

I know, I know.....it's just a movie. Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I am going back to criticizing Alladin because that magic carpet really can't fly.

-- Post From My iPhone

Back on the track update

OK - let me first just say that it is nearly impossible to find things to write about in a blog about training for your first marathon without actually doing any training. Thus, no reason for posting. How many times can I talk about sitting on my ass and eating?

You see, in December I sprained an ankle - which I already documented here. Well, being the wizened fool that I am, I continued to run and to play tennis on it rather than letting it heal through the holidays. What happens next? You guessed it - J.W. fall down and go boom. Partially torn Achilles. See the image above? No it's not mine, but it looks strikingly similar to the ultrasound taken of me. Doctor's choice - stay off it for 6-8 weeks or let it completely rupture, have surgery, and tough it out through rehab for a year. Stay off it? Let me think.....ummmm......okay.

Let's just say that for once, it has not been fun sitting on my ass. I pretty much have not been able to do any sort of exercise for the past six weeks. So what magically happened during that time? I finally found something that I could do without my foot hurting, so I bought an exercise bike. Magically, however, it seems that my foot has healed. Leave it karma to determine that I have to spend $500 on a machine that takes up half of my living room for my foot to start working properly again. Thanks Murphy's Law!

So, I am back in the saddle again as they say. A lot of catch up to do - which means more updates for all 2 of my readers!

And how was your day?

On my way to Miami

I know that you haven't heard from me in a while, but there is a reason for that. I'm actually sitting on a plane ready to head to Miami for the ING Miami Marathon this weekend - ready to be inspired this time.

It was here one year ago, that I seriously started thinking about this cocamamey idea, when I saw all of the old, fat, hairy, bald men (and some women too!) crossing the finish line after 6 hours. I am sure many stopped at the deli along the way, but they finished. That's my goal - just don't get scraped off the pavement with a spatula at the end.

In any case, no, I have not given up on this hairbrained idea......more to come on my situation when I get back from South Beach.

I'll be at the bar if you need me!


-- Post From My iPhone

The wagon has lost a wheel

The answer is no, that is not the normal size of my foot. I've often been accused of having feet that can stomp out forest fires, but this as you can obvious see, is not a normal thing. Unfortunately, I sprained an ankle playing tennis yesterday so that should lay me up for a little while from the training regimen - just in time for the holiday season and the evil temptations of holidays goodies. OK, well that's not such a terrible thing after all.

I'm Baaaaaaaaack

It has been a few weeks since my last post, mostly because it has been a few weeks since my last run as I took some time off to rest and go on vacation. A few lessons I've learned since then:

1. Going from nothing to running roughly 30 miles plus 7 tennis matches in 2 weeks? Not good for the body - especially the bodies with the chewy nougat center like mine. Okay, so I got a little carried away with the thought of this marathon thing and tried to get out of the gate quickly. Not the first time I got so overexcited about something that I overdid it, and certainly won't be the last. Problem is, the last time I did that I gained 50 pounds when I discovered the late night drive-thru and the wonders of "4th Meal" from Taco Bell.

2. The first run after taking a few weeks off is like running with a Grand piano on your back. I already run at the pace of a Clydesdale, but today's run felt like I was reduced to "old lady with double hip replacement and a walker" speed.

3. PowerBars (and any "Energy Bar" including but not limited to Clif Bar and Balance Bar) taste like absolute dogshit. They are like munching on a cereal box without the lovely sugar coated cereal as part of the equation. While on vacation I tried to eat a few of these things and quickly returned to the trough. Whoever invented these things was clearly not a restaurateur (but was a very savvy marketer). No wonder most runners are so skinny....if I had to eat these things regularly as opposed to regular human food, I'd probably just not eat...or just choose to gnaw my own fingers off as an alternative.

And while we're on this subject, what's the f'in point of the Snickers Marathon Bar? Might as well reach for the Reese's instead at half the cost and equal the amount of calories, fat and sugar. I laugh at those folks that think they are "health food" and eat them as a snack or even as a meal replacement. And to those folks I say, "I've got some ocean front property in Arizona to sell you. And if you'll buy that I'll throw the Golden Gate in free."

I'm am thinking that I don't like this any longer.......

I have run more in the past two weeks than probably the last two years, and now that I am not young and invincible anymore (the premature greying IS actually starting to show my age) I have been sore, sore, sore. Back, legs, everything - I think my feet have actually grown a shoe size because they now feel like they are about to pop out of the soles.

And, this running thing has screwed up the one piece of my exercise regimen that I do really care about - tennis. I've noticed in these two weeks that I am moving slower, my shots aren't as crisp. It's down right pissing me off. Probably didn't help that I piled 4 matches into a week on top of my running regimen.

And it has ruined my appetite. I actually found myself shying away from a hamburger in exchange for a salad one day. And I didn't finish that salad. What the hell is wrong with me? I used to enjoy so many wonderful things that were fried, smothered, covered and most importantly did not come from the ground or grow on some kind of shrubbery. I haven't been to fast food in a few weeks for anything but coffee. I've lost a taste for all things that I enjoy.

And (oh I'm not done), to top it all off I came down with some kind of bug yesterday. Is it me, or is this something that happens to all regular serious (AKA crazy) runners? There is one guy I work with (who shall remain nameless, but his first name rhymes with "Peeve" - which is exactly what this running thing has become) that seems to get sick all of the time. This is a guy that I am convinced that if he missed a flight in his hometown, that he would run to the next airport -one and a half hours away - to catch his flight. He's that serious about his running. As the healthiest unhealthy guy I know, he always has something.

OK - I'll get off my ass, stop procrastinating and stop complaining. It's time for a run. :)

Week 1 Summary / Mapping out a Regular Training Regimen

Days I ran - 4
Total miles I ran - 12
Average mile time - about 40 minutes (per mile, not total running time)
Times chafed - 1 (unfortunately, that's what happens when two tree trunks rub together at rapid rates)

OK, so chafing aside, a good start to the training. Next step for me is to map out a more definitive training plan because right now I am pretty much winging it and running at the local middle school track.

I have been looking at all of these different training plans online, but the problem is that most of them either assume that you have actually been doing some running for the past few months and not sitting on your ass eating bon bons, or they cost money. For the record, I have pretty much been sitting on my couch eating bon bons, and I am too cheap to pay for someone telling me how much I need to run. Although, if I do win the lottery one day I am going to splurge and hire someone to chase me with the car and yank that hamburger out of my hands - just like Oprah!

For now, I think I'll just stick with my 3-4 mile jaunts until I figure out which race to run, and then I can better time my training around that date.